I liked Juno and think that Diablo Cody is a talented screenwriter (A la Kevin Smith); so I’m not about to let the negative connotations that some reviewers hold for Ms. Cody’s work turn me away from her new Horror Flick.

Never mind that Meghan Fox stars as a Demon Possessed High School Teenager, never mind the “clever” dialogue (”They’re boys” Please.) It still looks like a fun horror move, certainly better than the clunkeriffic “Unborn”

Let’s face it, it’s bound to be better than “Transformers”

If that isn’t to your liking, maybe you’d prefer “Orphan”

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Most Horrible 8, originally uploaded by Kevin Wardrop.

My car has an “infection” of these horrible black and yellow monsters. I think they are dropping from the tree in my front yard, but I can’t say for sure. Either way they stink and they are aggressive.

While I was taking this picture another one was charging at me across the car and attacking my hands, they are less than an inch long but behave like they are monsters.

This one was punted, desktop football style, across the car and into the grass.

You can check out more of my photographs at: Flickr

Two Issues in a row and we haven’t heard from Horsecock again.  All setup no follow through I guess. For Now.

This (like the tepid issue 5) is an other “Humanity” issue; where we get to see the survivors getting along anddealing with one another (as well as the horrors in their past).

Geoff has a big secret

Geoff, the weepy older man in the group sidelines the team to tell them about growing up gay in a small town where he just wasn’t accepted.  He also tells the people about how he met the crossed for the first time.  I have omitted his big secret.  The mind reels now, doesn’t it?  Is he a cannibal, is he a secret Unitarian?  I’ll give you a hint, it rhymes with Sea Org.

Not really.

No really, he was a Psilon.

Not Really.

I’d like to say that this moved the plot along, but simple travel and stories of kids being killed (off screen) isn’t really movement.  Two issues of walking, this is turning in to Lord of the rapist and cannibalizing Rings.  But with less hair on the feet I guess.
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Caanda Day 2009, originally uploaded by Kevin Wardrop.

Things were exploded; people had their car towed. Tears flowed.

It’s redneck drama all the time in the Lakeside Burgh of Kincardine!

You can check out more of my photographs at: Flickr
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I take offense at this:

“Or self-indulgent netizens who believe it is their God-given right to get all the music, films etc. they can stuff into their hard disks without paying the creators a single penny”

Caveat Emptor applies in many purchases, but when a product is defective or doesn’t deliver on it’s promised function, consumers can often return the product or at least obtain credit for their purchase. This is true for most physical purchases, perhaps not all.

However, when one buys media (music, movies, games) you end up in a hinterland. Say I’ve bought “Plan 9 from outer space” not knowing that it is camp and expecting a classic space horror (I live in a cave or something) I can’t return it to the store for a full refund. They won’t let me. However, if I watch it online or download it I can know if the investment was worth the money.

You may not agree with this, but at least you can see the sense of it. I think I’ve seen the basic content nearly 90% of the DVDs I own before I even saw the disc. Sometimes in the theatre (I vowed to never purchase the Transformers Movie (the first M bay one after that) and sometimes via other means.

However; in the cases where I went to the theatre I’m out 20-50 dollars depending how many people come along and the theater; I can’t recover that money in any way. It’s not just a foolish investment, it’s robbery. I was promised X amount of entertainment and instead I was bored or offended or even worse disgusted for X amount of time. I charge 60 dollars an hour for my wasted leisure time; where do I collect?

If groups like the RIAA can charge thousands of dollars for individually “stolen” songs, why can’t consumers have similar protections? These protections were invented for the Producers; the Pirate Bay and their ilk are the market reaction to these protections.

What I’m driving at is if consumers had the ability to receive refunds for bad media; it would go a long way to changing the mindset of people who download movies and music and so on.
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Due to La Nina it continues to be a lacklustre summer all over Southern Ontario:

Click on me to see Full, cliff Note Version: Still Below Normal

Matt Waterman may be a Canny flashing icon generator, but he is no Internet Historian.  Not at all.  For one thing there was no real Search Engine available for him to be an SEO expert on in 1994, only Humble Yahoo

Hello world, I have been internet marketing /SEO since 1994 before the term “seo” was developed and have worked for many global multinational corporations around the world. I have constructed this web portal to give my website visitors some free Internet Marketing advice that I have developed and researched from all around the world.

This Internet marketing blog will teach you how to make your online business grow, or if your trying to remove yourself from the rat race i.e. 9-5 job this blog will introduce you to new ways on how to make money online while you sleep.

His “web portal” is a Wordpress blog, much like this one here.

However, being that Matt (The Douche) Waterman is so proud of being an SEO expert, let’s bust his chops a bit and see how good he is.  I’ll search for “Matt Waterman” in Google:

Nope, Matt Waterman (SEO Expert) isn't even the fourth result on Google

Hell He isn’t the Number one Result? My blog, Flickr, twitter or Facebook are consistently the number one result for my name on Google and I Don’t even try; I’m certainly not trying to sell my abilities as an SEO Expert “Matt Waterman” in case you are wonering Matt’s Page showed up on Page Six of the Results, right there at the top, mattseo.com.  Seach Engine Optimization Expert Matt Waterman’s web page named MattSEo.COM showed up on page 6 of the Google Results.

Here’s a Fun Experiment, Search for “Snakes on a Plane Drinking Game” in Google:

Again, I’m not a Search Engine Optimization Expert; but doesn’t this mean that I am more effective than You, Matt Waterman?  I mean, your stupid Twitter Page and new media crap-speak don’t seem to have moved your page into number one, but a random post I wrote about how to get drunk watching a Samuel L Jackson movie is number one on “The Google”  and If I know my limited audience, the Number One Search result for Matt Waterman is soon going to be right here.

And I’m not even going to do you the courtesy of a link.

(BTW the “Here is me at a wedding” profile picture is AWESOME, How totally with it you are)

ALSO:

More Like Page 6 AMIRITE?

Thanks To the Huffington Post for More

I’ve said before that Republicans aren’t too good at protests because we are just too polite, but maybe it’s time we stepped up to the plate EACH time anyway. Maybe we can stop this leftwing hate machine. From Conservatives4Palin:

http://rightwingsparkle.blogspot.com/2009/06/protest-against-letterman.html

from the same post

As a reminder, Governor Palin is a Tea Party supporter; Andrew Breitbart even basically called her the candidate of the Tea Parties. If any of our readers can put us in touch with New York Tea Party organizers, please let us know

So, if you are keeping notes: Republicans don’t get into protesting, because they are so polite. However, in the same post we see a reference to the ongoing and sometimes very impolite Tea Party protests that have sprung up around the USA.  Amazing.

Lest you think this is unique;  check out this one:

If you want to show your disgust at Pelosi, be there! Now, I’m not one for protests. I’ve been to a few (I think of the Tea Parties more as rallies), and frankly Republicans and conservatives aren’t too good at protest because we are just too well behaved. Take a look at the rest of the protest page:

(emphasis added) http://blogs.chron.com/texassparkle/2009/06/pelosi_protest.html

Why I do declare; it is so beyond us Republicans to mount an effective protest because we are simply to polite:

So Very very Polite.

Yup.

Paragons of Civility and Genteel Discourse.

Never Raising their voices in Protest; except for the most Egregious ourtrage, just ask the Dixie Chicks.
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Somehow, all the familiar characters of the old show get themselves instantly put in charge of the bridge of the flagship of the Federation fleet. This does not compute.

–PZ Meyers

After reading an early review that expounded upon the majesty that was an utterly silent space battle I screwed my Nerd Protection Gear into place and went into the theatre expecting to be bored to death by the time the Chief Engineer explained that one could not simply go into Hyperspace and that the Kenetic and Inertial Dampners hadn’t been properly calibrated for such a level of accelleration…

I nodded off while I wrote that.

So it wasn’t that.  Not at all.  Which is great.  I would have been really disappointed in an Action Movie that didn’t make Nerds complain and whine about it’s level of authenticity.  It amazes me that when were are talking about a movie that takes place on space craft that move faster than light and shoot lasers we have to care about how realistic the plot is.  Really?

The only complaint I thought of as the movie got into gear was that they missed the timing on the car going over the cliff, how did they even miss it?  It’s a digitial edit, just just adjust the scene to match it or swap the whole jump into slow motion, take your pick.

I have no complaints about the casting as a whole save for the constant Lip Pursing that Spock was doing; seriously, was that a Zoolander impression?  All through the damn movie too.  It paid off when it became clear that he was just getting ready to eat Uhura’s head whole.

I’m not kidding.

Whole.

One Bite

He’s out of his Vulcan Mind.
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People who advocate for Private “American Style” Medicine in Canada crack me up:

Ontario’s healthcare monopoly almost killed Lindsay McCreith. After suffering a seizure in January of 2006, the 66-year-old retired auto body shop owner from Newmarket was told he had a brain tumour. But he would have to wait four-and-one-half months to obtain an MRI to rule out the possibility that it was cancerous. Unwilling to risk the progression of what might be cancer, Mr. McCreith obtained an MRI in Buffalo, which revealed the brain tumour was malignant. Even with this diagnosis in hand, the Ontario system still refused to provide timely treatment, so Mr. McCreith had surgery in Buffalo to remove the cancerous brain tumour in March of 2006.

In Ontario, Mr. McCreith would have waited eight months for surgery, according to his family doctor. Eight months is quite enough time for a cancer to worsen, spread and progress to an irreversible stage. Had Mr. McCreith not paid $27,600 (USD) out-of pocket for immediate medical care, he might be dead today.

Shona Holmes, a self-employed family mediator and the married mother of two children, began losing her vision in March of 2005. She also experienced severe headaches, anxiety attacks, high blood pressure, extreme fatigue, and weight gain. In spite of these serious symptoms and an MRI revealing a tumour in Ms. Holmes’ brain, Ontario’s health care system told her that she would have to wait months to see a specialist.

… (Give me a break, this is alot of text)

With the Mayo Clinic test results and diagnosis in hand, Ms. Holmes returned to Ontario, only to be told to wait for more appointments and tests. Having lost one half of her vision in her right eye and one quarter in her left, and unable to expedite appointments with specialists, she returned to the Mayo Clinic, where surgeons operated to remove the tumour. Within ten days, Ms. Holmes’ vision was completely restored. Visual field testing and a post-operative MRI also confirmed that the tumour caused the vision loss. Surgery had indeed been necessary to save her eyesight. Nevertheless, the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP) refuses to reimburse Ms. Holmes for any of the expenses she was forced to incur in seeking necessary medical care abroad. While she has returned to work, her husband must now work two full-time jobs to pay off the debts they were forced to incur to save her vision.

Did you ever get the idea that Private Care proponents don’t read their own press?  The answer; in their minds is to sue to force a tiered health care system, where the wealthy can jump the line and take up the limited health care resources because the can afford it.  I mean, what if there was private care in Ontario before these two sad sacks got sick?  Would there magically have been more doctors?  It’s not like the doctors would magically appear out of thin air:

“The United States is experiencing a primary care shortage the likes of which we have not seen,” Jeffrey P. Harris, MD, FACP, president of the American College of Physicians (ACP), told the House of Representatives Energy & Commerce Health Subcommittee. “The demand for primary care in the U.S. will grow exponentially as the nation’s supply of primary care dwindles.”

–Medical News Today

As the population ages, and dementia, delirium and Alzheimer’s disease impact millions each year, Medicare refuses to grant psychiatry the same “specialty” rates as others, and only pays these physicians about 50 percent of billings.

–Michael Golding

Patients per Doctor

Perhaps in MAgic Private Enterprise Land, health care is better, by and large, right?

Shit, No, Huh?

This is from the CIA World Fact Book, not “My Commie Left Wing Free Halth Care Supporting Guidebook” at all.   I keep for that for verbal debates.

Anyway; the only thing I hate about the free health care is that it isn’t actually universal, dentistry isn’t free, nor is eye care.  All of these things should be free too.  They all relate to quality of life and for the most part good overall health is good for the country, because healthy people both happy and productive and in our Hybrid economy, productive people have money and money is spent.

If anything, the two unfortunates should be suing the Federal and Provincial governments for not ensuring that staffing and funds were there to ensure their good health.  That’s what our taxes as for, not adventures in the Middle East!
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Ever since I signed up for daddyhood, I can’t stomach these sorts of stories. I can’t read things like that without imagining my own son or daughter as the victim. I’m going to have to go hug something.

– Lester

“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”

-Oscar Wilde

It seems that almost every one of my male friends who become Dads also become Mothers.  They cease to hold onto the essential Maleness of their lives and start being fretful hens who “get all concerned” when something happens to a kid somewhere (anywhere) in the world.  This may go a long way to explaining the lack of violent kid death in movies and video games.  I’m probably a hypocrite on this matter myself, as the Parent who brushes hair and checks clothing before my own goes out the door (but I believe strongly that I am motivated by necessity and not nascent ovaries).

When did it become “okay” for Dad’s to stop being “Fatherly” and start wearing the proverbial June Cleavers around the house?  These aren’t even Single Dads or Stay-at-home Dads; I’m talking about Dad’s who are out of the house for eight hours a day, drink beer, watch Nascar and Fret Fearfully when little Portia skins her ‘wittle‘ knees while playing on television in another state 20 years ago.   The kind of Dad who knows how to unstop a drain without Draino and knows what a Ubend is for.  Why is he crying on the Internet about some tragic horror in a world of Tragic Horror?

For that matter; who CRIES ON THE INTERNET at all? ( Results 1 - 10 of about 66,200 for “crying right now“. (0.27 seconds)

It’s not like I expect Fathers to be the Violent Misanthropes we’ve been trained by Television and Movies to think they were or even Wise Patricians like Heathcliff Huxtable or Atticus Finch; just something more masculine than “The Fresh Prince” (circa 1991).  No crying Jags in public and no fretting like hens over other people’s kids.  It’s okay to worry in private, sensible people don’t need you to shred your shirt every time someone’s kid gets a boo-boo, even a fatal one.
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Right-Click and Choose Save As: HERE

Finally got to see Crank High Voltage.  This unrecognizable mess is Statham in heavy makeup on fire, proving nothing can kill his Hitman-Superman.  I’ll have to sit down and compose a proper review someday soon.

Don’t miss it.  That is all.
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John Amato covers this better than I can
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After the new BSG (Battle Star Galactica) premiered all the hardcore Nerds I worked with proceeded to lather themselves up in a frenzy over how awesome it was.  I was passingly familiar with the “Original Flavor”  BSG from the 70s and the two things that were acceptable about that (three if you count Lorne Green)  where the Cyon Space Fighters (the toys were great) and the Bear-Dog-Cyborg Daggit.  I Confirmed it was called Daggit using IMDB which has actual editors and not Wikipedia because even I’ve altered the basic facts about a real person and they stayed in place for weeks.  No, I don’t think Strom Thurmon led the First Autogyro Kamikazi squad, but for a while there his Wiki said so [No it didn't I'm not about to to own up to the actual edit I made, what would be the fun in that?] Anyway, I was familiar with the Magic Underwear angle on the original and decided to avoid the “new one” because I figured that it would end up being some form of Religious Propaganda. If I wanted to watch a show about people on the run from Robotic Religious Zealots, I’d just finish my 700-Club/Litellest Hobo mashup video.

I watched episodes here and there (I’m not so closed-minded that I wouldn’t give it a fair shake)  and felt fairly justified in my “Oh Gee it’s the God Bots versus the Sinner Fleshbags”  opinion.  With all the Greek allusions they at least tried to make it not all about the big Granite Temple, but in the end the new BSG was all about the Magic Underpants and while I was correct; I wish I hadn’t been.  Because when you take the eschatology out of it, the New BSG could have been an alright SF series; the actual actio sequences were fairly good and the Characters were at least, oh hell I can’t even lie that I liked it.  It was crap from top to bottom and filmed by an insane 8 year old with a machine and switched focus  fetish.

The Jumpy camera work and “fun the first time, but crappy forever” blurry and or shaky over the shoulder camera work were just the signature moves of the “we have no content” writers and producers of this show.

The thin characters, the Deus Ex Machina writing.  Why did anyone like this crap?   It came so highly recommended I can only posit that there was some form of addictive substance in the initial broadcasts, and like “Extra Tasty Crispy” formula, people were hooked.

You now what? I could really go for some KFC now.
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The bankruptcy signals that Obama is prepared to play hardball with holdout lenders rather than knuckle under to their demands and will likely set the tone for similar discussions with bondholders of General Motors Corp — which is now on the clock to restructure its operations by the end of May.

While Obama voiced his support for Chrysler and the deal with Fiat, he was pointed in his criticism of the investors who did not agree to this deal.

“I don’t stand with them. I stand with Chrysler’s employees and their families and communities,” the president said. “I don’t stand with those who held out when everybody else is making sacrifices. That’s why I’m supporting Chrysler’s plans to use our bankruptcy laws to clear away its remaining obligations.”

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Yes, that's some spine

Hey Baby, I haven't even touched you yet!

I saw him twice this episode - The Witness

The big scary this week was killing people by biting their spines open and sucking out their juices.  They made a big deal about the teeth being human:

Teeth: Not Human

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Doesn't that face say "Phallus Goes Here"?

Don’t visit his page; it’s infectiously crazy.  DrinkwithBob is all about selling ads for his Mouth Stretching goods.  Not for me; not for you.  If you need yuor mouth stretched, let me suggest the Pear of Agony.  It’s less of a chore.
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http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showth…

Next up is saran wrap. The idea is that you wrap saran wrap around the mouth in several layers, and poke a hole in the mouth area, and then waterboard away. I didn’t reall see how this was an improvement on the rag technique, and so far I would categorize waterboarding as simply unpleasant rather than torture, but I’ve come this far so I might as well go on.

Now, those of you who know me will know that I am both enamored of my own toughness and prone to hyperbole. The former, I feel that I am justifiably proud of. The latter may be a truth in many cases, but this is the simple fact:

It took me ten minutes to recover my senses once I tried this. I was shuddering in a corner, convinced I narrowly escaped killing myself.

Here’s what happened:

The water fills the hole in the saran wrap so that there is either water or vaccum in your mouth. The water pours into your sinuses and throat. You struggle to expel water periodically by building enough pressure in your lungs. With the saran wrap though each time I expelled water, I was able to draw in less air. Finally the lungs can no longer expel water and you begin to draw it up into your respiratory tract.

It seems that there is a point that is hardwired in us. When we draw water into our respiratory tract to this point we are no longer in control. All hell breaks loose. Instinct tells us we are dying.

I have never been more panicked in my whole life. Once your lungs are empty and collapsed and they start to draw fluid it is simply all over. You know you are dead and it’s too late. Involuntary and total panic.

There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. It would be like telling you not to blink while I stuck a hot needle in your eye.

At the time my lungs emptied and I began to draw water, I would have sold my children to escape. There was no choice, or chance, and willpower was not involved.

I never felt anything like it, and this was self-inflicted with a watering can, where I was in total control and never in any danger.

And I understood.

Waterboarding gets you to the point where you draw water up your respiratory tract triggering the drowning reflex. Once that happens, it’s all over. No question.

Some may go easy without a rag, some may need a rag, some may need saran wrap.

Once you are there it’s all over.

I didn’t allow anybody else to try it on me. Inconceivable. I know I only got the barest taste of what it’s about since I was in control, and not restrained and controlling the flow of water.

But there’s no chance. No chance at all.

So, is it torture?

I’ll put it this way. If I had the choice of being waterboarded by a third party or having my fingers smashed one at a time by a sledgehammer, I’d take the fingers, no question.

It’s horrible, terrible, inhuman torture. I can hardly imagine worse. I’d prefer permanent damage and disability to experiencing it again. I’d give up anything, say anything, do anything.

The Spanish Inquisition knew this. It was one of their favorite methods.

It’s torture. No question. Terrible terrible torture. To experience it and understand it and then do it to another human being is to leave the realm of sanity and humanity forever. No question in my mind.

Questions? Doubts?

P.S. Yes, I really did try it.

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